My Note from Dr. Seuss

The late Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss) dropped in the other day, saying he’d like to help with my house cleaning chores. Imagine my shock and surprise! I gave him the vacuuming to do as I hate to vacuum and I never get it right anyway. He left this note behind:


Everywhere I see dog hair.
I see dog hair most everywhere.
Beneath the couch, atop the chair,
There’s dog hair nearly everywhere.

There’s dog hair on the carpet square.
There’s dog hair where the floor is bare.
There’s dog hair climbing up the stair.
There’s dog hair nearly everywhere.

Upon banana, peach and pear;
Atop the counter, it is there.
In the butter dish, I swear.
There’s dog hair nearly everywhere.

There’s dog hair in the food I share.
There’s dog hair in my underwear.
In weather foul and weather fair,
There’s dog hair nearly everywhere.

Asleep at night, I see dog hair,
And when to the potty, I repair,
In the toilet, there’s dog hair.
There’s dog hair nearly everywhere.

Dog hair floats throughout the air,
Therefore deep breaths I do not dare,
For I’ll ingest great gobs of hair.
There’s dog hair nearly everywhere.

Blowing here and blowing there.
The sands of time cannot compare
With the drifting nature of dog hair.
There’s dog hair damned near everywhere.

I’d like to live without dog hair,
But sans a dog, I would despair:
No human pal can quite compare
With man’s best friend, despite the hair.

- Ted

© 2010
Church of the Open Road Press